Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A trip to Costco (Part One)

I once went to the Winchester mystery house in San Jose, California. The house itself was very very cool, but one thing for me really stood out. The furniture was tiny. Apparently, Back in Mrs. Winchester's time period, people were a lot shorter and had tiny arms and legs and such. There are a lot of explanations for this. The main one is poor nutrition, and another one is that back then, people really had to work for their food. You know, plant the seeds, growing, watering, weeding, harvesting, shucking, butchering, etc. By the time the food hit the table and continued on to the privy, the pounds just melted off. So now, we have this obesity problem in America. As always, there are many explanations for this too(i,e, the amount of mayo on a fillet o' fish sandwich) but one commonly touted explanation does not sit quite well with me. The explanation that Americans today do not work for their food. It is "allegedly" just handed to us like a bucket brigade of food right to our plate. Now, in some respects this is true. Not that we are fat people on the end of a bucket brigade, but that food is just handed to us through easily accessible drive through windows, However, while I admit to being a little "ripply", I have to say I still resent the implication that I do not work for my food.
After all, I go to Costco.
Costco is a diamond in the rough. A yet to be discovered weight loss phenomenon! Why spend a couple thousand dollars on a membership to a gym when you can get a Costco membership, and a ton of food as well? Lets crunch some numbers.

The average shopping cart weighs about 58 pounds. The Costco shopping cart probably weighs in around 75. Once I have lugged my three children into the cart, (45 pounds, 27 pounds, and 21 pounds respective to my 4 year old, 2 year old, and 7 month old) I am pushing 171 pounds before I even hit the store! Then, over the course of the next hour and a half, I take approximately 300 pounds of food off the shelves and load them into the cart. So, by the time I head for the checkout line, I am pushing 471 pounds! And I have walked at least a half mile. I then load 300 pounds of food onto the conveyor belt, pay for it, (yikes, my bank account has now lost weight) and then load same 300 pounds of food back into my cart. I push 471 pounds out to the car and, you guessed it, unload 300 pounds of food from the cart into the car, plus the 93 pounds of children into their car seats. And my workout is not over yet! When I get home, exhausted, I still get to burn some calories and move some muscles! At home, I have to unload 93 pounds of children, plus the 300 pounds of food, and carry it all into the house. Then, like a cool down after a long, long, loooooong workout, I get to put all that food into my cabinets! Pheeeeeeewww!
If you combine all the weight I have moved that day, it comes to a grand total of 1,857 pounds!!!!
So give up on the gym, America! It's expensive, doesn't reward your money with groceries, and it smells gross. Costco, the new weight loss revolution!!!!


Erika said...

Melanie- Haha, yes, Costco is great. No, I'm not a photographer, I'm a photographer wanna-be. I want to get a NICE one and it's going to be a while before I can talk dh into letting me put down the $$$ for it. My older daughter's name was self-inflicted, she always calls herself Baby Dragon since that's her favorite imaginary animal. And Sweetie is just a nickname for my younger daughter because she really is sweet. Just protecting the innocent. :) Thanks for your response.